actors spend their whole lives acting one role, the role of themselves.

there are times when i think about how good would i be at something if i decided to pick it up now, for example, do i have what it takes to be a stand-up comedian, a really good cook, or a racer?! the next question that follows is always, well, if i were to do these things, where would i start?

how do you start being a stand-up comedian? do you find a topic that really interests you, and just go off on it and see where it takes you? so for example, i could start by talking about how kids really amaze me, because of how invincible they are, or because of how they think they're invincible > me, jumping into a cesspool > my brother shooting me with a blow gun and all sorts of other madness > my mother?

random, but relating everything back to your mother is always a good way to go, i've learned.

i guess to be a really good cook, i'll have to start cooking, every day. on top of that, i'll have to be able to tell whether or not something is too salty, rotten, or whatever. i have to ask other people whether the milk in my fridge has gone sour or not, so i guess that rules out the whole cooking possibility.

as with the whole racing thing, i don't even think we need to talk about this. in order for me to race cars, i would have to... learn how to drive a stick. ok. that's fine, i can do that. then, i need to have an understanding of cars. ok, that's a bit harder. wait, better yet, i need to have an appreciation of cars in order for me to understand them. would it help if i started reading car magazines?

what are other possible career choices? a hair-stylist! wait, the guy that cuts my hair has been doing it since he was like 12 (he's now over 30). a web designer? ok i'm not even going to go into this one.

these past few years, i've been doing things and learning things for the first time, for example, directing a film, learning about final cut, and fixing up my website at cafe since almost a year and a half ago. i know that everything has to start somewhere, but damn, i feel so old to start doing "new" things, even things that i am really interested in if that makes any sense. i wonder if anyone else feels this way.